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With their aim of making you more autonomous, there are a few crucial things your life coach won’t tell you. But you should know what they are
A career or life coach can be a great partner to help you reach your goals. But many people are looking not just for direction, but for answers, too. They might want to be given advice or handed a step-by-step approach to tackling seemingly insurmountable obstacles and achieving their goals in life.
However, a coach won’t give you all the answers. Their job is to facilitate your journey to find the answers yourself, and to increase the likelihood of commitment to the self, especially when you’re seeking big changes. With that in mind, here are five things a coach won’t ever tell you.
#1. The solution is...
If you’re seeking a coach, you might have a personal or professional conflict you want to resolve. Your coach is there to listen, and then help you listen to yourself and manage conflict. They will ask you questions—powerful questions intended to lead you to your own answers, putting you in the driver’s seat as you move toward your goals.
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#2. Your motivation should be...
Some clients come to coaching with a specific goal in mind. Others may feel lost and seek a renewed sense of direction. Coaches provide the tools and structure to support your search. But they will not tell you what your motivation should be. They pave the way for you to understand your motivations more clearly for yourself.
What is important to you? Why? Only you can decide.
#3. Your goals are...
The coaching process is designed to help you unlock your own potential and uncover your goals. The creative partnership with your coach will raise self-awareness to help you draw from your own insight, design an action plan, set goals and manage your progress and accountability.
#4. Here’s what’s happening to me...
Your relationship with your coach is a professional one. While anecdotes may be used to provide context or expand your thinking, and you are welcome to share your own experiences as much as you like, a coach will not burden you with their own life challenges or dramas. Your time with your coach is about you and your goals.
#5. I think you should...
A mentor is someone who will give you advice based on their own wisdom and experiences. A coach will listen and provide an outlet for you to figure out how to approach your situation and develop advice for yourself. Prescriptive feedback can be littered with personal perspective and situational circumstances that may not apply to everyone.
What A Life Coach Can Offer
There are many things a coach won’t tell you — all designed to put the focus on empowering your own internal processes. The relationship between you and your coach is a creative partnership that allows you to tap into your abilities and potential. To ensure your coach upholds these important coaching standards, it is best to work with a coach who is ICF certified or another reputed coaching organisation. In other words, do you research before trusting someone with all of your personal drives, desires and vulnerabilities.
The writer is the president of the International Life Coach Federation in the UAE.
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